Production News

Production on Doctor DILF gathers pace this week with some interviews done and many more lined up. I am at a truly exciting stage now because I love talking with people about their passions and their jobs. Whilst editing the interviews, I’ve had to remind myself that I am actually meant to be editing because I get such enjoyment from listening to them, I just stop what I’m doing and laugh along or nod in recognition with what’s being said. I hope that this is a good sign and I can’t wait for you all to hear the episodes. One of the joys of interviewing is seeing (or hearing) your ideas spring to life. You can plan all you want but the sound of a podcast, I am learning, is something all of its own. It’s organic and, I suspect, has a life of its own.

One of the biggest learning curves of doing this podcast is the tech side. I’m not a techie at all - if anything, I’m a bit of a Luddite. However, in order to get this done (and actually be listenable to), I have thrown myself in the deep end and have learned about SEO and how to build a website, and have taught myself how to use Zencastr and Audacity for the actual recordings. Not to mention how to use Garage Band for the theme music! Then came the unexpected memory storage issues, so I had to learn all about that… no knowledge is ever wasted, even if it does come in an entirely new language to me! I’m keen, however, for Doctor DILF to sound as professional as possible, so please bear with me for this first series whilst I try things out.

My determination for Doctor DILF to have sure foundations has led to the reactivation of the organisational skills I learned during my doctorate. There are many sides of conducting a doctorate-level study, and the organisation of a large project is one of them, involving scheduling time doing different tasks and allowing yourself enough time to learn new things. As such, I’ve applied the same working practices to the podcast , providing participants with standardised information sheets and pre-prepared questions. These questions, however, are not set in stone as the best information comes about through a free-wheeling conversation on a chosen subject… and what subjects! The recently-recorded interview with counsellor Scott McKellar on mental health, for example, is wide-ranging, intelligent, and life-affirming. I’m glad to say that you will hear him throughout the series talking about the mental health side of our identity, of our body image, and of our sex lives.

More progress reports soon - Simon x

Doctor DILF - the origin story

The idea to do a podcast about older gay and bisexual male health didn’t come all at once. The Doctor DILF podcast is the next step on a very long road which began a decade ago.

Back in the 2010s, I was working in a care home. It was a job I loved and, after a late-stage career change, I had found my true calling. Suddenly, I was doing work that actually mattered. Dementia care and palliative care can be back-breaking labour over long shifts, but if it’s your vocation, then it’s all worth it.

Preserving the dignity of your residents as they face the end of their life is an honour, and I often say that holding the hand of the dying was one of the most important things I will ever do. It was a privilege to provide the residents with the best care and respect I could possibly give them.

It was while working at the care home that I asked myself the question, “What will my older age look like as a gay man?” This thought led me back to education after a gap of more than a decade. A diploma turned into an undergraduate degree. A masters was followed by a doctorate, all in the pursuit of that one question - what lies in my future and the future of people like me?

During my doctorate study, I found out that older LGBTQ+ people are diverse, full of life, and interest. They are often independent with passions and careers and sex lives. Yet, beyond the confines of academic study, they were often being overlooked in society through the double whammy of being older and being LGBTQ+. Doubly invisible.

The study turned into a book (which you can find here) and numerous talks where I was a guest speaker and expert panellist at universities, conferences, charities, and events including at a government thinktank. Yet still, I had the feeling that all my hard work was going nowhere fast. I was preaching to the converted. What’s the point of research if it doesn’t do some good?

Older LGBTQ+ people deserve to be heard and deserve resources. In my study, I was determined to amplify their voices untainted by outside interests in a noisy, increasingly hostile, world. As such, a podcast seemed like the next logical step - a podcast where older gay and bisexual men have the chance to ask questions of experts themselves.

So, why the focus on older gay and bisexual men in particular?

Well, in the world of research, there’s a thing called an “insider researcher”. That’s someone who studies their own population. However, we can belong to more than population at a time but it’s impossible to bridge all of the LGBTQ+ rainbow all at once in one person.

Ultimately, I don’t feel that I can authentically say that I can speak for people with whom I share little or no characteristics. It would be like me portraying a trans person on stage when there are wonderful trans people waiting in the wings ready with their own songs. I agonise a lot over ethics - can you tell?

However, this does not preclude future subjects seeing the Doctor DILF project branching out. Right now though, it’s early days. Let’s get the root system steady before we blossom. I’m starting small with Doctor DILF but from little acorns, mighty oaks grow.

There is another reason. The advice when conducting an academic study is to go niche. Be really specific. So, I’ve taken that ethos and gone niche here, incorporating my reasons above. During my study, I found commonalities among older gay and bisexual men that I really understood… because of course I did, being one myself. They say to “write what you know,” and this tallies with the points I’ve made above. Again, it’s that authentic voice.

Finally, I want to provide you - the listeners - with evidence-based information that is actually helpful. There is a lot of bollocks out there on the internet with vacuous and self-serving influencers selling us snake oil. Then there’s the manosphere guys and their toxic ideologies. Sod them.

I want Doctor DILF to be the very opposite to the internet con artists - a fact-based podcast with experts. I want Doctor DILF: Extra Length to provide comfort for you through “Oh yeah, I do that!” recognition and an interactive conversation where you shape the future of the series. Yes, we will tackle difficult subjects, but let’s have a laugh too!

As things progress, I do hope to start selling Doctor DILF merchandise and to attract advertisers. A guy’s got to pay the rent, after all. However, I will never let harmful products or companies to be associated with Doctor DILF. That’s a promise.

In the meantime, I do hope you enjoy the podcasts. Keep in touch using the #DoctorDILF hashtag on social media.

Let’s get talking!